There is this pain instilled within my heart.
A pain so crude and torturous
A pain that numbs the emotion of love
That deafens laughter and exercises discontent.
A pain that plays the devils game and leaves hearts entangled in a hopeless fall.
An attraction fatal,
A wound unhealing,
A soul shaken,
A unity shattered,
A chapter forgotten
and a story untold.
tempest

Write and write and keep writing, but what words can I put on paper? How can I allow myself to write about pain and hurt when the pen writing and the paper receiving do not deserve to have such thoughts heard? Do not deserve the pollution of negativity, of ill thought, of hatred and defeat.

Write and write and keep writing, write whatever comes to mind. Allow the darkened image breeding in the tomb of thought to become a descriptive painting. Write and write and keep writing. The innocence of the ink, the accepting paper should also have the chance to encompass words of peace and love etched out in gold. Deserve to hear praises and happy thoughts, for no single particle was born for the sole purpose of suffering.

Write and write and keep writing, whether it makes sense or not, these are just words stringed along by the deliverer living in a parallel universe, where all that there is, is an entity of sheer desperation, wanting to be heard, but loses the power of expression when given half a chance.

Wanting to know human compassion; can it really exist in all its entirety?

A dictator I have become, commanding the ink to fall, torturing the paper with cruel intentions and pleasures.

A dictator I have become to like, to have this simple power. Power to control what words are received and what words stay a thought, never to be heard, never to frighten or grieve.

This power I like and it comes at the expense of the ink and its tolerant comrade.
tempest

TO THE VIRGINS, TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME.

by Robert Herrick


Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer ;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime

You may for ever tarry.

Sleep in a pool of endless dreaming
Lay the restless head on a seabed of tranquility
Close those scarred eyes on a vision of peace
Silence those chapped lips on an uttering of truth
Unwind those laboured hands on the making of good
And release the soul into a realm where souls unite and float freely.
tempest 02/04/06

You have to stop punishing yourself and accept that there are bad people in this world who are going to do bad things.

tempest

The world needs people like you, yet it struggles to accommodate your needs.
The world craves for your good nature, but in return can only offer you mockery.
It is people like you that struggle to survive in this world because goodness is what you know and know no different.
That does not deter you nor make you switch sides as its those qualities humanity loves and admires.
The people will envy and mock as they secretly try and become just like you.
06/04/09 tempest

Dedicated to PMK

Glen Hansard & Marketa Iglova - Falling Slowly Lyrics

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

There is no such thing as getting 'over' a person,
you just get used to living without them
(tempest)

Walking in a parallel universe to the one that you belong to
Disastrously attempting to break down the barrier that others before you put in place
Knowingly a mind-set moulded, a dogmatic lifestyle led is hard to convert.
Stubbornly searching a loophole within the system to free you from a fate written and a destiny unwanted,
Alas to no avail;
Fear,
Submission,
And loyalty to a cause laid before you, is the path you chose.
A seed planted within you from birth, nurtured and tamed cannot be softly killed through any woman’s touch.

Emancipating the light from the darkness rivets around the notion that much required strength and the utmost contagious flow of pure love is needed.
Love in its purest form neither discriminates nor differentiates.
Both the affluent and deprived can acquire it.
Love in its purest form does not disintegrate with the passing of time rather its bond strengthens and its light never fails to brighten the darkest of days.
Its grasp tightening;
Its union strengthening;
Its laugh victorious:
Its pain torturous.
A million love songs will not suffice.
A million words will fail to enchanter.
A million paintings will not succumb to an emotion as strong as the casting iron.
You alone and alone will witness the rise and fall of such adoration.

tempest.

As of yet untitled

There is this pain instilled within my heart.
A pain so crude and torturous.
A pain that numbs the emotion of love,
Deafens laughter and exercises discontent.
A pain that plays the devils game and leaves the hearts entangled in a hopeless fall.
An attraction fatal;
A wound unhealing;
A soul shaken;
A unity shattered;
A chapter forgotten
And a story untold.

tempest 13/07/08

Bleeding beauty

She has become tired and weak once more
Her land cannot absorb the seeping blood of man
Poisoned by it, she wails a painful cry
More remains to bury six feet under
Shrouds of black veil her luscious green beauty
The cedar bows down in homage to its fallen victims
Whilst the wind carries her painful wails through the mountaintops and valleys
From Bekaa to Tyre
From the north to the south
And her people can not hear her sorrowful whisper nor feel her painful ache
She is dying and no one dares to notice.

tempest 17/05/08

Inspired by 'the bucket list' I have written my own set of things to achieve before my light diminishes and i give my body to the soil and my soul goes back to its origin:

1) WitNEss the wOrlD fROm a DifFeReNT AnGLe

2) WitnESs A BEauTy thAt WAs oNCe SaiD NO pENCiL cAN DrAW it, NO cOLOuRs

cAn paINt it and NO WOrdS cAN deSCribE it in ALL its MagNIficENce.

3) Find My SOul MaTE

4) NOT Be aFRAid

5) VISit thE mUSeUM and BUriaL SITe of GibRAn

6) Be aBLe to FOrGIve thOSe I cAN nOT

7) BE soMetHInG To SoMeoNE

8) SPend the nIGhT in a CAve fULL of BaTs

9) Own a Pet SNAke

10) TO KNow my EXisTEnce Was NOt a WAstED ONE

Close to You

Close to You (I watch the sunrise)

Avalon - Orphans of God

Who here among us has not been broken
Who here among us is without guilt or pain
So oft’ abandoned by our transgressions
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

There are no strangers
There are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

Come ye unwanted and find affection
Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head
Come ye unworthy, you are my brother
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

O blessed Father, look down upon us
We are Your children, we need Your love
We run before Your throne of mercy
And seek Your face to rise above

Beyond the horizon
Of which horizon dost thou speak?
That dwelling of the setting sun
Or where the sky embraces the deep blueness of the sea
Its existence futile in minds of those wishing to transcend upon the invisible ladder towards the Beloved
Speech a remedy for those who cannot converse in the language of the hearts
Entwining hearts converge on the ship of unconditional love
Boisterously singing in praises
Ecstatically dancing freely
Freely
As free as the cageless bird whose wings define its limits
Free as the wind whose speed defines its boundary
Free as the soul who knows His Beloved; has no restriction save his egocentricity
Come down oh shackles of the darkened era, light has come forth

Away oh pride, superiority and greatness
Woe is the great,
And woe, oh woe you shall be.

tempest

Mainstay - Take away

Rid me of the notion that I ever had any rights
Cleanse me of the motives that come in such a clever disguise
Ruin my agenda, holy as it never was

It's all from Your hand
and there's nothing that's mine
and all that You give
You're free to take away

I'm just trying to hold on, clinging to the dream inside
I was only selfish, and you were only part of my life

Every breath, every word
There isn't one thing I deserve
And all that I am is Yours

It's all from Your hand
and there's nothing that's mine
and all that You give
You're free to take away



So so beautiful...

Striving to escape escapism. Part 1

Striving to escape escapism. The day spent in a world of fantasy, conjuring up mini movies to flee the reality of your mundane and unattractive life. Where shall this wondering mind take you, to what ends of the earth will you travel to and what acquaintances will you adorn yourself with. As we are talking about ones self and ones own imagination, the ego cannot contain its excitement, therefore it is only befitting that you shall turn out to be the hero, after all you do become the writer, the producer and director, all in one.

Whatever the scenario maybe in your world of fantasy and illusion, the act of fulfillment be it for a fraction of a second or hours on end, diverts the attention away from the some what harshness of life.

The failures of the self, the pressures of society, the need to be something which you can not be, the burden that lies on ones shoulder. We grow tired of the commercialistic society that we live in. The means to escape is quite simple in a time where everything and anything is easily obtainable. The unlimited indulgence of alcohol and illicit drugs, the lavish spending, the absorption into the lives of celebrities, anything which distracts you from your own reality and leads one not confronting their own lives can be classed as escapism, and the individual known as ‘the escapist’.

You try to be strong, brave, courageous, all branches from the same tree. You try to hide your weakness from those who know your vulnerability. You have a duty towards your daughter to make sure she learns the lessons of life, to show her humanity at its best.
But then you look within, you see that child that once was. That child that grew up surrounded by fragility and chaos, that became an adult searching for truth, and the struggles between this world and the next. Trying to live for tomorrow but are aware that it may never come.
You try to forgive and let go but the child staring back at you reminds you of that once upon a time dream. You look back and think where did i go wrong, but even if you had the answer, its not going to change your yesterdays into todays.
So you turn your face to the One who breathed life into you, who gave you this life as a means of knowing Him. You try to pursue that goal.....and now come the trials and tribulations of agonising love and painful separation. You look deep into your heart rooting out all types of love that have no use invading the space reserved for only One Love.
Then you let go.
Let go of all the trust you had placed in man. All the hope that builds in your system only to be washed away by a flicker of insecurity.
You start to see that journey unfold, the same journey you read time and time again, in books of literature, philosophy and mysticism. You wonder how it starts off and where it all ends. You read the supplications of praise and then forgiveness, then sit in a state of solitude, a moment of reflection, of new found hope and reignited love. For that moment you become at peace with yourself and you start to make peace with the world.

Life is painful to live, but even more painful if you dont know how to live it.

You relive moments time after time as if the whole world has stood still and your pain is the only pain.
You have flashbacks again and again as if your fears are the only fears and nothing can compare to them.
You walk in the shadows of men so that you go unnoticed to hide the secrets of your shattered heart.
You search for answers in the shallowness of this world to comprehend the hurt and find a way to heal.
You try to seek guidance from the peers of faith to justify the actions of but a few.
You have become like the walking dead, surrendering to fate whilst waiting for permission to leave this abode.
For now, you sit in silence while you are the product of the worlds heartless.


tempest

Martyrdom of Imam Ali (as) - 21st Ramadhan

Soul TV

Your remedy is within you
-What you seek is within you if only you reflect.

A dying mans last lecture
-When people are hit with an extreme, life-disrupting they will feel either wounded and bitter, or strengthened and better.

Spiritual Archeology
- Are their any ideals that if discussed, practiced and followed can enrich and unite all humanity?

Untitled as yet

If life takes you by the throat and strangles you,
I will be there.
If people abandon you out of fear or betrayal,
Look unto Me.
If you lose hope seeking kindness in humanity,
Know My kindness never discriminates.
If society secludes you and you can not comprehend the 'why’s' and wait for the 'when’s',
Know that nothing happens in vain.
And if you lose your faith and your conscious seems to unaid you,
If you go running back to Him, stumbling and apprehensive
In a pitiful remorse and a fearing guilt
He will never turn away and is always ready for your arrival

Look unto Me in your darkest hour and let Me share in your happiest of moments.
And know that you are never alone.

tempest

Then til Now

It has been a long time my companion
Since I last conversed with you of life and of love,
Of the sorrows and inflictions
Of the trials and the torment
Which pursue my fate.
And so here we meet again
On this long and sturdy path
With time passing before us.
The days and the months gone by
Bringing about change beyond our control
Trials beyond our understanding
And questions with answers beyond our limitation
It is this that either makes us as strong as the trunk of a tree,
Or as weak as the feeble stick on the back that carries it.
As I carry my load along this paved out path with a new arrival by my side,
I shall look beyond the realm of what if
And step into the realm of what now.
tempest

Try not to cry

As a mark of respect for Hussein ibn Ali (as) and for all those who lost their lives on that tragic morning of 10th Muharrem I will not be posting any new posts for 40 days.
However I will leave you with one final prayer, recited by Imam Hussein himself on the morning his precious soul departed this world.

O God, I put my trust in You in every tribulation.
You are my hope in every distress.

You are my trust and provider in every affair that falls upon me
Regardless of how much the heart may weaken, strategies fail,
Friends abandon and the enemy joyfully celebrate.

I have desired it under Your kingdom;
I complain to You out of my desire for You alone and none else.
Give me relief and dispel the calamity for You are the Master of all bounties,
the Owner of all benevolence and the Ultimate Destination of all desires.

Time you are a shameful partner for a friend;
With the passage of dawn and sunset,
How many companions and supporters will be killed?
But time will not be content with my substitute;
The final affair rests with the Majestic One,
For every living being journeys back to Him along the path.


Imam Hussein (as) – Night of Ashura’

(Kitab Maqtal Al-Husayn – Abu Mikhnaf)

You struggle to see the light within the darkness
The ray of hope glistening the stream
You isolate yourself in a ritual prayer
Hoping to seek a revelation to reassure your belief
And then you wait an agitated silence
Convincing the self you have reached the point of ascension
But deep within the layers of pride and self glorification
You try to block off reality
That you are ten steps back from where you started.
tempest

And so it ends...

In finding you I never knew I had to let go.
inevitably the hour passed when you finally uttered the words of departure.
Your life shared amongst me opening the gates of your fragile heart
You wrapped your blanket of comfort and sang the song of friendship.
Abruptly the tale ended, you decided to dissolve the fairy tale dream
Without a moral or happy ending you packed up and left.
I, left to walk in your shadows, trailing in confusion
Trying to comprehend why your departure has left an unhealing wound.
Will the tree you sowed ever blossom?
Will the orphan you saved ever know?
Will you ever find the one you spent your days dreaming of?
Questions that will remain so, for the girl who cherished you soul.
tempest.


Dedicated to a special friend. Leaving you with happy thoughts. tempest

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here


Sarah Mclachlan

Where is the humanity in you?

*

Look at your dying hands.

Written the marks of executioner.

Stationed at the frontline.

Born to kill.

*

Look at your bludgeoned victim.

Tainted with marks of slaughter.

Shrouded in red;

Buried in white.

*

Look at your orphaned child.

Contaminated with a vision of hatred.

Disrupted and disturbed,

Innocence broken.

*

Look at your widow in love.

Replacement becomes futile.

Praying it is a nightmare.

Awakening to uncover emptiness.

*

Look at your people.

In total disarray.

Perplexed, thrown into darkness

Befriending nothing but their own shadows.

*

tempest

*

Remembering my people killed in Iraq on a daily basis for no other reason than just trying to live.

To me:

When I first started this blog, it was a place where I could keep all the inspirational and interesting pieces I had read and recollect them from time to time. It also became a sanctuary where I could keep all my bad poetry I write. A place where I can just go and just feel peace with what I put in, and where I can truly be myself.

I look back and read through what I wrote over the past year and so many months and written between the lines...somewhere...there is a hidden meaning only which I can relate to. Looking back I remember the states I was in at each entry, sometimes in a state of confusion, at other times in a bubble of complete bliss only to find it burst down the line and clinging on to hope. I remember where I was when I wrote each entry, each emotion felt...how I can still feel it when I read back at an entry...how fresh it still seems, i can just taste it.

I look back and I don't just want to live, I just cant seem to fit into that conventional mode of life, I feel its not me, its not for me, it feels like an act that I put on, furthermore it's not want my heart wants.

It just feels like I cant relate to anyone at the moment, the few people who I have met, who I have had some connection with, who have guided me over the years have long gone and now im sitting here typing to myself wondering where to go from here.

I know what I want in my heart but is it achievable for me?

To be continued, if ever I pick up on the points made.

Tempest

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
(Flying without wings)


Still searching...