You try to be strong, brave, courageous, all branches from the same tree. You try to hide your weakness from those who know your vulnerability. You have a duty towards your daughter to make sure she learns the lessons of life, to show her humanity at its best.
But then you look within, you see that child that once was. That child that grew up surrounded by fragility and chaos, that became an adult searching for truth, and the struggles between this world and the next. Trying to live for tomorrow but are aware that it may never come.
You try to forgive and let go but the child staring back at you reminds you of that once upon a time dream. You look back and think where did i go wrong, but even if you had the answer, its not going to change your yesterdays into todays.
So you turn your face to the One who breathed life into you, who gave you this life as a means of knowing Him. You try to pursue that goal.....and now come the trials and tribulations of agonising love and painful separation. You look deep into your heart rooting out all types of love that have no use invading the space reserved for only One Love.
Then you let go.
Let go of all the trust you had placed in man. All the hope that builds in your system only to be washed away by a flicker of insecurity.
You start to see that journey unfold, the same journey you read time and time again, in books of literature, philosophy and mysticism. You wonder how it starts off and where it all ends. You read the supplications of praise and then forgiveness, then sit in a state of solitude, a moment of reflection, of new found hope and reignited love. For that moment you become at peace with yourself and you start to make peace with the world.

Life is painful to live, but even more painful if you dont know how to live it.

You relive moments time after time as if the whole world has stood still and your pain is the only pain.
You have flashbacks again and again as if your fears are the only fears and nothing can compare to them.
You walk in the shadows of men so that you go unnoticed to hide the secrets of your shattered heart.
You search for answers in the shallowness of this world to comprehend the hurt and find a way to heal.
You try to seek guidance from the peers of faith to justify the actions of but a few.
You have become like the walking dead, surrendering to fate whilst waiting for permission to leave this abode.
For now, you sit in silence while you are the product of the worlds heartless.


tempest

Martyrdom of Imam Ali (as) - 21st Ramadhan