When I first started this blog, it was a place where I could keep all the inspirational and interesting pieces I had read and recollect them from time to time. It also became a sanctuary where I could keep all my bad poetry I write. A place where I can just go and just feel peace with what I put in, and where I can truly be myself.
I look back and read through what I wrote over the past year and so many months and written between the lines...somewhere...there is a hidden meaning only which I can relate to. Looking back I remember the states I was in at each entry, sometimes in a state of confusion, at other times in a bubble of complete bliss only to find it burst down the line and clinging on to hope. I remember where I was when I wrote each entry, each emotion felt...how I can still feel it when I read back at an entry...how fresh it still seems, i can just taste it.
I look back and I don't just want to live, I just cant seem to fit into that conventional mode of life, I feel its not me, its not for me, it feels like an act that I put on, furthermore it's not want my heart wants.
It just feels like I cant relate to anyone at the moment, the few people who I have met, who I have had some connection with, who have guided me over the years have long gone and now im sitting here typing to myself wondering where to go from here.
I know what I want in my heart but is it achievable for me?
To be continued, if ever I pick up on the points made.