There is this pain instilled within my heart.
A pain so crude and torturous
A pain that numbs the emotion of love
That deafens laughter and exercises discontent.
A pain that plays the devils game and leaves hearts entangled in a hopeless fall.
An attraction fatal,
A wound unhealing,
A soul shaken,
A unity shattered,
A chapter forgotten
and a story untold.
Write and write and keep writing, but what words can I put on paper? How can I allow myself to write about pain and hurt when the pen writing and the paper receiving do not deserve to have such thoughts heard? Do not deserve the pollution of negativity, of ill thought, of hatred and defeat.
Write and write and keep writing, write whatever comes to mind. Allow the darkened image breeding in the tomb of thought to become a descriptive painting. Write and write and keep writing. The innocence of the ink, the accepting paper should also have the chance to encompass words of peace and love etched out in gold. Deserve to hear praises and happy thoughts, for no single particle was born for the sole purpose of suffering.
Write and write and keep writing, whether it makes sense or not, these are just words stringed along by the deliverer living in a parallel universe, where all that there is, is an entity of sheer desperation, wanting to be heard, but loses the power of expression when given half a chance.
Wanting to know human compassion; can it really exist in all its entirety?
A dictator I have become, commanding the ink to fall, torturing the paper with cruel intentions and pleasures.
A dictator I have become to like, to have this simple power. Power to control what words are received and what words stay a thought, never to be heard, never to frighten or grieve.
This power I like and it comes at the expense of the ink and its tolerant comrade. tempest
Sleep in a pool of endless dreaming Lay the restless head on a seabed of tranquility Close those scarred eyes on a vision of peace Silence those chapped lips on an uttering of truth Unwind those laboured hands on the making of good And release the soul into a realm where souls unite and float freely. tempest 02/04/06
The world needs people like you, yet it struggles to accommodate your needs. The world craves for your good nature, but in return can only offer you mockery. It is people like you that struggle to survive in this world because goodness is what you know and know no different. That does not deter you nor make you switch sides as its those qualities humanity loves and admires. The people will envy and mock as they secretly try and become just like you. 06/04/09 tempest
Walking in a parallel universe to the one that you belong to Disastrously attempting to break down the barrier that others before you put in place Knowingly a mind-set moulded, a dogmatic lifestyle led is hard to convert. Stubbornly searching a loophole within the system to free you from a fate written and a destiny unwanted, Alas to no avail; Fear, Submission, And loyalty to a cause laid before you, is the path you chose. A seed planted within you from birth, nurtured and tamed cannot be softly killed through any woman’s touch.
Emancipating the light from the darkness rivets around the notion that much required strength and the utmost contagious flow of pure love is needed. Love in its purest form neither discriminates nor differentiates. Both the affluent and deprived can acquire it. Love in its purest form does not disintegrate with the passing of time rather its bond strengthens and its light never fails to brighten the darkest of days. Its grasp tightening; Its union strengthening; Its laugh victorious: Its pain torturous. A million love songs will not suffice. A million words will fail to enchanter. A million paintings will not succumb to an emotion as strong as the casting iron. You alone and alone will witness the rise and fall of such adoration.
There is this pain instilled within my heart. A pain so crude and torturous. A pain that numbs the emotion of love, Deafens laughter and exercises discontent. A pain that plays the devils game and leaves the hearts entangled in a hopeless fall. An attraction fatal; A wound unhealing; A soul shaken; A unity shattered; A chapter forgotten And a story untold.
She has become tired and weak once more Her land cannot absorb the seeping blood of man Poisoned by it, she wails a painful cry More remains to bury six feet under Shrouds of black veil her luscious green beauty The cedar bows down in homage to its fallen victims Whilst the wind carries her painful wails through the mountaintops and valleys From Bekaa to Tyre From the north to the south And her people can not hear her sorrowful whisper nor feel her painful ache She is dying and no one dares to notice. tempest 17/05/08
Beyond the horizon Of which horizon dost thou speak? That dwelling of the setting sun Or where the sky embraces the deep blueness of the sea Its existence futile in minds of those wishing to transcend upon the invisible ladder towards the Beloved Speech a remedy for those who cannot converse in the language of the hearts Entwining hearts converge on the ship of unconditional love Boisterously singing in praises Ecstatically dancing freely Freely As free as the cageless bird whose wings define its limits Free as the wind whose speed defines its boundary Free as the soul who knows His Beloved; has no restriction save his egocentricity Come down oh shackles of the darkened era, light has come forth
Away oh pride, superiority and greatness Woe is the great, And woe, oh woe you shall be.
Striving to escape escapism. The day spent in a world of fantasy, conjuring up mini movies to flee the reality of your mundane and unattractive life. Where shall this wondering mind take you, to what ends of the earth will you travel to and what acquaintances will you adorn yourself with. As we are talking about ones self and ones own imagination, the ego cannot contain its excitement, therefore it is only befitting that you shall turn out to be the hero, after all you do become the writer, the producer and director, all in one.
Whatever the scenario maybe in your world of fantasy and illusion, the act of fulfillment be it for a fraction of a second or hours on end, diverts the attention away from the some what harshness of life.
The failures of the self, the pressures of society, the need to be something which you can not be, the burden that lies on ones shoulder. We grow tired of the commercialistic society that we live in. The means to escape is quite simple in a time where everything and anything is easily obtainable. The unlimited indulgence of alcohol and illicit drugs, the lavish spending, the absorption into the lives of celebrities, anything which distracts you from your own reality and leads one not confronting their own lives can be classed as escapism, and the individual known as ‘the escapist’.
You try to be strong, brave, courageous, all branches from the same tree. You try to hide your weakness from those who know your vulnerability. You have a duty towards your daughter to make sure she learns the lessons of life, to show her humanity at its best. But then you look within, you see that child that once was. That child that grew up surrounded by fragility and chaos, that became an adult searching for truth, and the struggles between this world and the next. Trying to live for tomorrow but are aware that it may never come. You try to forgive and let go but the child staring back at you reminds you of that once upon a time dream. You look back and think where did i go wrong, but even if you had the answer, its not going to change your yesterdays into todays. So you turn your face to the One who breathed life into you, who gave you this life as a means of knowing Him. You try to pursue that goal.....and now come the trials and tribulations of agonising love and painful separation. You look deep into your heart rooting out all types of love that have no use invading the space reserved for only One Love. Then you let go. Let go of all the trust you had placed in man. All the hope that builds in your system only to be washed away by a flicker of insecurity. You start to see that journey unfold, the same journey you read time and time again, in books of literature, philosophy and mysticism. You wonder how it starts off and where it all ends. You read the supplications of praise and then forgiveness, then sit in a state of solitude, a moment of reflection, of new found hope and reignited love. For that moment you become at peace with yourself and you start to make peace with the world.
Life is painful to live, but even more painful if you dont know how to live it.
You relive moments time after time as if the whole world has stood still and your pain is the only pain. You have flashbacks again and again as if your fears are the only fears and nothing can compare to them. You walk in the shadows of men so that you go unnoticed to hide the secrets of your shattered heart. You search for answers in the shallowness of this world to comprehend the hurt and find a way to heal. You try to seek guidance from the peers of faith to justify the actions of but a few. You have become like the walking dead, surrendering to fate whilst waiting for permission to leave this abode. For now, you sit in silence while you are the product of the worlds heartless.
If life takes you by the throat and strangles you, I will be there. If people abandon you out of fear or betrayal, Look unto Me. If you lose hope seeking kindness in humanity, Know My kindness never discriminates. If society secludes you and you can not comprehend the 'why’s' and wait for the 'when’s', Know that nothing happens in vain. And if you lose your faith and your conscious seems to unaid you, If you go running back to Him, stumbling and apprehensive In a pitiful remorse and a fearing guilt He will never turn away and is always ready for your arrival
Look unto Me in your darkest hour and let Me share in your happiest of moments. And know that you are never alone.
It has been a long time my companion
Since I last conversed with you of life and of love,
Of the sorrows and inflictions
Of the trials and the torment
Which pursue my fate.
And so here we meet again
On this long and sturdy path
With time passing before us.
The days and the months gone by
Bringing about change beyond our control
Trials beyond our understanding
And questions with answers beyond our limitation
It is this that either makes us as strong as the trunk of a tree,
Or as weak as the feeble stick on the back that carries it.
As I carry my load along this paved out path with a new arrival by my side,
I shall look beyond the realm of what if
And step into the realm of what now.
As a mark of respect for Hussein ibn Ali (as) and for all those who lost their lives on that tragic morning of 10th Muharrem I will not be posting any new posts for 40 days. However I will leave you with one final prayer, recited by Imam Hussein himself on the morning his precious soul departed this world.
O God, I put my trust in You in every tribulation. You are my hope in every distress.
You are my trust and provider in every affair that falls upon me Regardless of how much the heart may weaken, strategies fail, Friends abandon and the enemy joyfully celebrate.
I have desired it under Your kingdom; I complain to You out of my desire for You alone and none else. Give me relief and dispel the calamity for You are the Master of all bounties, the Owner of all benevolence and the Ultimate Destination of all desires.
Time you are a shameful partner for a friend; With the passage of dawn and sunset, How many companions and supporters will be killed? But time will not be content with my substitute; The final affair rests with the Majestic One, For every living being journeys back to Him along the path.
You struggle to see the light within the darkness The ray of hope glistening the stream You isolate yourself in a ritual prayer Hoping to seek a revelation to reassure your belief And then you wait an agitated silence Convincing the self you have reached the point of ascension But deep within the layers of pride and self glorification You try to block off reality That you are ten steps back from where you started. tempest
In finding you I never knew I had to let go. inevitably the hour passed when you finally uttered the words of departure. Your life shared amongst me opening the gates of your fragile heart You wrapped your blanket of comfort and sang the song of friendship. Abruptly the tale ended, you decided to dissolve the fairy tale dream Without a moral or happy ending you packed up and left. I, left to walk in your shadows, trailing in confusion Trying to comprehend why your departure has left an unhealing wound. Will the tree you sowed ever blossom? Will the orphan you saved ever know? Will you ever find the one you spent your days dreaming of? Questions that will remain so, for the girl who cherished you soul. tempest.
Dedicated to a special friend. Leaving you with happy thoughts. tempest
When I first started this blog, it was a place where I could keep all the inspirational and interesting pieces I had read and recollect them from time to time. It also became a sanctuary where I could keep all my bad poetry I write. A place where I can just go and just feel peace with what I put in, and where I can truly be myself.
I look back and read through what I wrote over the past year and so many months and written between the lines...somewhere...there is a hidden meaning only which I can relate to. Looking back I remember the states I was in at each entry, sometimes in a state of confusion, at other times in a bubble of complete bliss only to find it burst down the line and clinging on to hope. I remember where I was when I wrote each entry, each emotion felt...how I can still feel it when I read back at an entry...how fresh it still seems, i can just taste it.
I look back and I don't just want to live, I just cant seem to fit into that conventional mode of life, I feel its not me, its not for me, it feels like an act that I put on, furthermore it's not want my heart wants.
It just feels like I cant relate to anyone at the moment, the few people who I have met, who I have had some connection with, who have guided me over the years have long gone and now im sitting here typing to myself wondering where to go from here.
I know what I want in my heart but is it achievable for me?
To be continued, if ever I pick up on the points made.